


Please

by SirPrize



Series: Desperately in Love [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Hollstein - Freeform, I Had To, Memory Lane, Season 3, Your tears are my nourishment, episode 12, right in the feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 08:23:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8049187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirPrize/pseuds/SirPrize
Summary: Please.That’s the only thing going through your mind. Not the childish, petty comments you were slinging at each other mere seconds ago, not all the reasons this is a terrible idea, not even the fact that your dad can and probably will walk in any second now.Just…Please.





	Please

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, I had to.
> 
> I know I should be working on chapter 3 of Clerical Error, but then I got to episode 12 and I had to drop everything, stop watching and write this. I haven't watched a second beyond this episode yet, at time of writing. XD
> 
> It's a little rambly but, well, it's Laura so it kinda fits.
> 
> ...That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy!

Please.

That’s the only thing going through your mind. Not the childish, petty comments you were slinging at each other mere seconds ago, not all the reasons this is a terrible idea, not even the fact that your dad can and probably will walk in any second now.

Just… _Please._

You don’t even know why. You don’t know what you’re pleading for, just that you’d get down on your knees and beg for it if you had to.

You don’t know who leaned in first either. You can’t think anymore. Did anything exist before this kiss? You don’t know and you don’t care. It’s not warm and gentle, like she so often was with you. It’s rough, needy and still tinged with anger. She tastes like iron and mint and something you can’t identify but which shoots through you like lightning and makes you feel like you’re finally home.

And you can’t feel that way because it’s Carmilla and this is wrong and you’ll get hurt again and, more importantly, hurt her again too. But what choice do you have? You can’t stop. You don’t want to. No matter how stupid it is, you don’t want to.

It’s rough and demanding and _hungry_ in a way you thought you wouldn’t appreciate, but you were so, so wrong. This? This feels like fire beneath your skin. It feels like finally, finallyfinallyfinally being able to _breathe_ again and god you’re going to fucking cry. For a moment you’re certain that all of your fears, insecurities and desperation are going to come tumbling out with a good dose of gross sobbing, but then Carmilla sighs into the kiss and it sends a heat through you that forces everything else aside. How did you ever go so long without this? Without her? The hell is wrong with you?

_Please…_

You’re pulling each other closer because it’s not enough. It’ll never be enough. Nobody has ever made you feel like this. Not the girls you crushed on before you even realized you were gay. Not sweet, brave and beautiful Danny. Only her. Only Carmilla can instil a hunger in you so severe that you have no idea how to satisfy it.

Of course, the moment that thought passes through your head, a little voice speaks up. It whispers to you that you know exactly how to deal with that hunger. It tells you to just throw her down on this desk, or pull her down to the floor on top of you. She’s a vampire. She can probably tear this shirt off of you without breaking the kiss, because you feel like you’ll die if she stops kissing you.

It wouldn’t be making love. Oh, no. That could wait for round two…or three. First you want to just fuck her until it all falls away. The anger, the pain. Then, you two can focus on loving each other as you should. Once you’ve had each other hard and fast you can be slow and gentle and hold her close as she comes, trembling in your arms. Maybe you’ll finally have the courage to whisper to her how much you fucking love her, how you’ll never be whole again without her and to beg her to never leave.

_Just…Please…_

She’s pulling back and you appreciate being able to breathe again and all, because you’re fairly certain you stopped the moment your lips touched, but it feels like she punched you directly in the heart and you either want to burst into tears or call her something your father most certainly would not approve of and pull her back in.

The look on her face stops you from doing either. It’s like all the reasons this is a terrible idea come rushing back in at once. Heartache. Betrayal. Hurt. Anger. All very good reasons, but impossible to focus on when she looks at you like that. She’s more vulnerable now than you’ve ever seen her, glancing from your lips to your eyes and back again. Each time your eyes meet, you feel like you’re falling into them and you can see her pleading with you to understand things she can’t say. Begging you to just give her something… _anything._

You love her. It’s stupid and naïve and the relationship was probably doomed from the start, but you love her so fucking much. And she’s over three centuries older than you, but one look at her eyes tells you that she would do anything if you just asked. God, you’re going to be the death of her. The thought fills you with guilt and desperation and the longer you look at her, the more certain you become that she’ll be the death of you as well.

Was this entire relationship just doomed from the start? You don’t know.

It’s definitely you who leans in this time and the kiss is softer and slower, but no less effective at wiping everything else away until nothing but the beautiful girl in your arms remains.

_Please!_

You find yourself pleading to anyone or anything willing to listen. Please just let this last forever. Let the two of you drift forever in a moment in time where hell gates and vampires and impending doom hold no weight. Please don’t let Carmilla be taken from you. You don’t even care about yourself anymore. This is your mess in the first place. But you need Carmilla to be safe. You’ve killed for her and it shattered you but, if anything, you’re starting to realize it’s the least you would do for her. Please just…Please.

Of course, the universe doesn’t listen. A phone rings, of all things, beckoning to a world where confusion and fear and insecurity still make those three words stick in your throat. She’s almost smiling, as if amused that even now you can’t get any privacy.

Just like that it’s over. You’re back in a world where everything is literally going to hell and, god, you’re going to have to talk about this later. The very thought makes you feel sick with nerves. Everything is so screwed up, but as you look at her and that almost-smile on her face, you feel like maybe you can do this. Maybe you can keep this one thing, this one person, safe from your mistakes.

Maybe you’ll even woman up and tell her you love her more than you’ve ever loved anyone.

But for now a phone is ringing and it’s time to go back to fighting the impossible to kill dean. As you reach for the phone, just one word runs through your mind.

_Please._

**Author's Note:**

> So, did you guys like it?
> 
> Can I start harvesting tears?
> 
> Let me know what you think!


End file.
